Douganator!

NYE stories

This in an excerpt from an email i sent to a mate, i thought others might appreciate



NYE was massive, crazy night, lots of events went down and everyone seemed to have an awesome time. I went to some Random party in narrenburn, which housed an interesting an eclectic crowd, everyone from a professional breakdancer, IT guys,Drug dealers and drug users... which you mentioned i should probably stay away from given your recent experiences. We headed out for the 12 o clock fireworks, which were so purdy and then me n tyrone decided to play speed dial. Whichis basically trying to extort as many numbers as possible from unsuspecting young ladies in the shortest amount of time. Ended up with four, but from poor techniques. My technique was basically just whack on a sketchy American accent and proclaim how much I love Australia and Auscees, then launch into fabricated stories about LA and how i just had to come bak after keith and Nicoles wedding. They bought it needless to say. Some NZ girl skipped the talking and went straight for the kiss, which i was unsuspectingso i turned into a rather awkward moment, so i hurried on my way. Now i have the problem that if i call any of these numbers i will have to explain myself as a con-man and the prospect of ever seeing these drunken young lasses will rapidly diminish, ahhh well such is life. Don't think I or they really missed out on anything. Interestingly enough I had my own deceiving ways turned back on me last night when me and my friends approached a couple of girls for a friendly chat, who suspected that our motives may not have been kosher per se, and proceeded to inform us they were in fact lesbians, I actually bought it for a while as one of them launched into her coming out story, which wore quite thin when she was pressed for details, needless to say i backed out of the conversation leaving tyrone to fearlessly fight his way through their barrage of bullshit. Though heterosexual or not his charms were ineffective...

On the Way home from the fireworks we decided to engage in some freestyle walking, always fun, which involved finding creative ways of making our way through the urban environment. While the earth turned into a canvas of object on which to expound our tipsy artistry, it failed to remind us that glass kinda breaks. Needless to say one of us did not heed this warning and decided to run up a window, to which his leg started to go through as the glass shattered around it. He was ok, but it was a fairly adrenalin filled moment... In other matters of adrenalin, driving in the city is a NIGHTMARE! One wrong turn and you are screwed. I took that turn last night as well, all the way down a one way street going the wrong way. oops! We were welcomed with a taxi tearing down the street straight for the head on collision i slammed on the horn the hazard lights and the breaks in a matter of milliseconds, leaving my passengers most likely with soiled underwear and my heart palpitating in some sort or seizure. We managed to pull a 9 point turn, with a group of what had previously been rather serious looking bystanders in hysterics, and head back down the one way street the right way.

posted by Douganator @ 4:29 PM