Thursday, February 01, 2007

A month in the life of a Christian

Introductions and definitions

This is a collection of thoughts connected to my life as a Christian over the last month. I’ve done a lot of thinking and felt the need to write some of these thoughts and share them in order to stimulate discussion and provoke people to think earnestly about their life whether they are Christian or not. A note to non-Christian readers, I talk a bit about the holy spirit. This may seem like a freaky concept if you are unfamiliar with it, I know when I first approached this subject it seemed kind of bizarre and I didn’t really get it. Many Christians have differing opinions about what the holy spirit is. However my personal conception of the holy spirit is that when one has it one can believe in the God the bible talks about and the implications of Jesus death and resurrection which it lays out. The holy spirit is Gods presence in the world with Christians. For me at least it is nothing as supernatural as it may sound, it is just the motivation that comes from outside the world to live the Christian life and be convicted that the bible is Gods word and something to base one’s whole life upon. Also “Gospel” just means the good news of Jesus death and resurrection. The four gospels are the first four books in the new testament and they are basically an autobiography of Jesus life, death and resurrection. They are also worth a read if you haven’t done so already.

Risk

I’ve though quite a bit about risk for the past through weeks. I think my recent poker phase has given rise to this. Poker is a game about people that just happens to be played with cards. It involves split second judgments about risk. Cards get repeatedly dealt, all you can do is make the most of them, sometimes that means folding and minimizing your losses, sometimes that means going out on a limb crossing your fingers and hoping for the best. Sometimes your up and it feels like nothing can stop you, other times you get slapped in the face for what seems like no reason. Whatever cards you are dealt though risk is always a factor that is inevitable. Life is the same, to get anything out of it, taking risks is ironically one of the few certainties that we all face. I was thinking the other day about the risk I took in becoming a Christian. I was pondering whether it was worth it if I had bought into the most elaborate lie the world had ever conspired to create against me. This was what I wrote…

All I have ever known has been to do with the physical world. I know nothing but this world and have never experienced anything outside of it. Even my dreams which appear unbound by the physical world are merely components rearranged in ways not possible in reality, still they are derived from my experiences of the world. I am a being, in and of the world, enslaved to it because I cannot transcend it at my will nor leave without certainty of the consequences. Thus here I remain. Objects, particles, atoms etc. manifest themselves in a myriad of ways and the experience all seems to well constructed to be random. Is there any certainty apart from existence and the platitude that the world as governed by physics today will appear in a similar fashion tomorrow? Without this certainty as least one could not live a life with any meaning in the physical world.

The dilemma which I face is I spend fast portions of my life living for and thinking about things beyond the physical world. I choose to interpret life in a Christian way, though do I truly experience it that way? Are these “truths” that I have based my life upon 100% unshakeable? Can I really say that prayer works? It is easy to say that prayer will be answered or look at my life in a way that makes me conceive that God has been working through it. The bible can provide me a comprehensive argument to allow me to interpret certain events as being related to a spiritual/metaphysical realm beyond myself that incorporates God and Jesus as my savior. However I can also create an argument for my existence that is not biblically based and possible, while there is still this possibility there will always be doubt.

At the point in time where I became a Christian, could the sequence of events that made up my existence merely have fallen into place in a way that I could not respond in any other way? Did my immersion in literature and people which shared a Christian world view lead to a bias towards taking up this view as my own, thus by default rejecting all other views. We as Christians have an agenda, we have already decided on the “ truth” and nothing will sway us. When we constantly emerge ourselves in a metaphysical world whether real or imagined, we have no science or part of existence which actually refutes it and therefore slowly but surely we come around to thinking these outer realms exist and matter even more than the physical.

If we have no experience of that which goes beyond the physical world, as strongly as we feel, or believe in its power of causality, can we with absolute certainty live lives with absolute certainty in its existence? I could quite easily shift my perspective and return to being a purely physical being with no conception or reliable knowledge about anything beyond it. It would leave a mass of unanswered questions, but it is possible. The risk involved with doing such a thing however is astronomical. Even if I am 50% certain that everything the bible says is true, the thought of removing my life from the care of my creator and not having Jesus as my lord and savior is absurd! The implications of, Christianity if it is true, are far too great to not follow the necessary steps to please, honor and obey God. Eternity is at stake, not just 1000 years but an infinite existence, one which makes ones earthly existence, infinitely small in comparison.

Coin flip thought experiment

As a thought experiment, imagine if someone told you that for the next minute you had to obey them, talk to them and pledge everything you had for that next minute to them in return for the possibility that

You did it and the rest of your life with them was as they had promise, perfect in every way and fulfilling in an unimaginable variety of ways
That if you did not you would experience eternity in a predicament which you would not wish upon your worst enemy.

Given this scenario even if the odds were 1 in 100 that this person was telling the truth, as long as there was something that made you think It could be true you would still live for that minute under their lordship? Perhaps your decision would be different if you thought that minute was all you had, however if you bump the probability up to even 20% that they are telling the truth, what do you have to lose?

The problem with this thought experiment when you transpose it to the Christian idea of judgment onto it is that salvation is based on having a relationship with God and personal faith. Faith being the trust and certainty in his presence, lordship, authorship and ability to manipulate both the physical and metaphysical world as he chooses. If this is the case probabilities just don’t work, faith is all or nothing. However I still think in probability based terms. I weigh up risks and choose the best available option. Christianity seems to be the best option, maybe because it is, but then possibly not.

Do I really have the holy spirit then?

So that was me doubting pretty hard. I wrote another mini-essay questioning whether the holy spirit had somehow deserted me in allowing me to have all these doubts. Re-reading it however it just seems silly and not worth sharing. Humans can be irrational, especially in relationships, unfortunately it seems our relationship with God is also vulnerable to this flaw of ours. I questioned whether the holy spirit had deserted me, and he answered by convicting me in the next few weeks. All that was necessary was read the bible and look at the thoughts that I am able to have and live my life by to know that the holy spirit has been with me all along.

Is Christianity a risk as I laid out in my doubtings? Yes. Anyone who has dabbled in any form of science or philosophy knows that there is no such thing as 100%. If you want to argue that, go and watch the matrix. It is far fetched and absurd to think that the matrix is true, but can you at the same time with 100% certainty say it is not? That we aren’t being fooled our whole lives by something beyond our physical world? No. All we have to go on is our own existence and experience of the world. Now while you have to weigh up the odds of whatever lifestyle you lead, to me Christianity looks like pocket aces (best hand you can get in Texas hold’em). There is no way you are going to fold a hand like that, in fact you might as well put all your chips on the table. Give it absolutely all you have because it looks to perfect to be true.

Thoughts on the book of acts

The book that has really convicted me that I have the Holy Spirit and that I’ve been on the right track all along is Acts. Acts is an amazing book that details the work of the apostles, the growth of the early church and actions of the first Christians. It tells the stories of the ordeals that various people went through in order to spread the Gospel message of Jesus and his death and resurrection. They are inspirational and even if you don’t believe in the gospel their faith and conviction of what the gospel meant for individuals across the globe is undeniable. One of the main characters in the book of acts is Paul, a Jew who originally persecuted and hated Christians with all his being. God then chose to become an apostle and further his mission by spreading the news about Jesus to the gentiles (non-Jews). His farewell to the Ephesians in Acts 20 is highly moving and shows a man who beyond the shadow of a doubt is convicted that what Jesus did meant everything to everyone. He says in Acts 20:23-24
“I only know that in every city the Holy Spirit warns me that prison and hardships are facing me. However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me – the task of testifying to the gospel of God’s grace.”

His words ring true for every Christian. If this is true then our lives mean nothing, and completing the task of testifying to the gospel of God’s grace is up to us all. Through our lives, words and actions. Our lives are what we stake as Christians. For some it may mean physically risking one’s life, for others it may mean traveling down a road that is far less comfortable than we could have and perhaps not even the one we would have liked to go down. However the rewards and joy of a relationship with God surpasses any comforts and temporary fulfillments that could have been found on these other roads.

The pray then leap approach to risk-taking

Risk-taking is not for everyone, however the men and women who populate the book of acts are compelled to take risks over and above what seems normal or logical if they had not been certain that the Gospel was true.

Acts really got me thinking about my life. What are my acts? I am naturally a risk taker, but what risks am I taking for Christ? I used to have a kind of motto of just leap and don’t look. This came from rollerblading, sometimes when there is a strong possibility of getting hurt, and badly to, you just have to shut your mind off concentrate on what you are doing and leap. This is the only way you can get better and the only way you can perform at a high level. I applied this philosophy to a lot of other areas of life such as relationships, who I chose to spend time with and what I did to my body. In these areas though the leap and don’t look approach was an abysmal one. I think when it comes to the Christian lifestyle I think a better idea is leap and pray. God won’t go back on his promises and if you are living for Christ, then the worst that can happen is death, which isn’t really all that crucial if what the bible says is true.

I have been frustrated recently because I am not fully utilizing the intelligence, material wealth and personality, which God has gifted me with, to its fullest potential. I know I can be doing more and every hour sitting back and relaxing is another hour where I’m not getting out there and actively making the world and its people better off. I sit back while the world is in turmoil. Life in mid-upper class Australia is cushy and presents a lot of opportunities. It is far too easy to be apathetic and let those opportunities pass me by. When will I be doing enough? I don’t know what one man can do. Though I know that I believe in the Christian community, it has the power to make changes in the world that are desperately needed. Equality, food, water, basic human rights and the gospel are desperately needed all over the world. We can change that, God calls us to change that, but all to often we sit back and focus on our own lives.

This rant of mine might be controversial, but I think that Australian Christians are far to focused on their personal relationships with God. Yes the elimination of sin from ones life is a worthy pursuit, but it isn’t the only pursuit a Christian has. So you eliminate all the sin in your life, your doing great in your relationship with God, but for what? What is the point if the worlds still left the same as it was yesterday? I’d rather see someone actively pursuing the changes that need to happen in the world that desperately struggles with sin than someone who is doing great with saying no to “the world” and keeping up with bible reading and prayer. I believe we are saved into something, the people in acts certainly seemed to perceive their salvation that way, why don’t we? Why does church sometimes just seem like a social club that has a self improvement focus?

I’m as guilty as the next Christian for being apathetic about it, but that doesn’t mean I don’t desperately want to do something about it. We all need to start making more risks, talking to more people about God, sorting out the crap that governments are causing the world, fighting for social justice causes and generally being active about making this world more what God intended rather than sitting back and just making ourselves more like what God intended. It’s a tough call but I’m game if you are. In 2 Thessalonians 3:6-14 (a letter Paul writes to one of the churches) there is a warning against idleness. I know I need to heed this warning more and be outwardly looking to actively pursue the changes that the world is crying for.

Why bother with the bible in the first place?

Last Sunday at Church we had a sermon on 2 timothy 3:16-17
“all scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteous, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.”

The sermon discussed the relevance of Gods word today, how it is authenticated and its historical accuracy. This got me thinking about my own bible reading. Reading God’s word is so important, I can’t survive as a Christian without it, especially considering my lifestyle. Without scripture I slowly am drawn back into the world, my thoughts become untwined from what the bible has to say and the vines or the world begin to strangle the rest of my thoughts until my actions can do nothing but follow. Doubt begins to rise, I wonder if I’m leading my whole life based on something that isn’t even there as the physical world rises in importance while God gets left behind. I love reading, non-fiction in particular, my love of learning about the world is insatiable, no matter how much I know I still want more, its just so fascinating, from people, science, economics, philosophy to literature. One can get lost in the thoughts of others an ones own. However without God’s voice and guidance through his word, these other voices dampen his. I’m always skeptical of Satan and his affect on the individual, I know that satan is a master of deception, and I am open to admitting that he has me fooled into believing he isn’t there most of the time. However, considering how hard I’ve doubted my faith recently, I question whether my internal world was perhaps being tinkered with. Maybe I was just being lazy and not, reading my bible, praying and going to church? When you cut yourself off from Christian influence and continue to plunge yourself into worldly situations, you will begin to shift back to a worldly stance. You know that Gods way is better, but in the moment the world beckons, it extends its hand to you and tells you everything will be alright, what is one more crazy night out? What is one more drink? What is wrong with taking girls home? Church will still be there, the bible will still be sitting on your bedside table when you get home, your brothers and sisters in Christ won’t reject you… no one will ever know. It’s empty though, the book of roman’s tells us “the wages of sin is death”. In some cases sin is just a nice band-aid the world provides for you while you face your demise. Chemicals that send you into oblivion and give the illusion of happiness, greed and materialism that allows you to gain some form of status in a world that is fallen anyway, you get into relationships that damage one another for personal gratification…

Is that what you want? I know when I think of it like that it’s not what I want. I want real life, through Christ, for Christ and working every day to be more like him and further God’s kingdom. It sounds kinda clichéd, specially seeing as these terms get bandied around Christian circles every day. But if you grasp the true worth of what these seemingly meaningless or “right things to say” in Christian circles mean, the whole world looks like a completely different place. A far better place