Douganator!

Good old fashioned family values

I don't think that people are supposed to structure themselves the way our society does. Relationships and families were never intended to fall by the wayside. You really can't replace raising children, marriage, friends and relationships with consumption. I don't think one can really get much at all out of life without having close relationships with the people around you. Though beyond the relationships of immediate family and friends there is something to be said for community. This ambiguous concept which gets thrown at anything which involves a group of people is being lost to consumption and economic growth.

I don't know where my views and values would be if it wasn't for the Christian community. Aside from the glorious discovery of a loving creator and his plan for the salvation of his people through Jesus, I've discovered the joy and benefits of community. I come from a nuclear family, mum, dad, and my sister are all the family I really have, and I’m very lucky and blessed to have them. However four people essentially don't lead to much of a community, we all have jobs and commitments and our family is more of a system of coexistence at the moment rather than co-dependency. I've never really had to look out for anyone else but me. That’s not a selfish thing, its just a fact, everyone in my family is healthy and pretty much problem free. It is a blessing for us to be like that as well.

The technological revolution doesn't really help us either, we are all wired to computer screens most of the time. One thing that I’ve come to appreciate that i used to hate is family meals. We usually have the TV off and sometimes conversation is good, sometimes its not, sometimes its awkward, sometimes its fun, sometimes its just a tad off, and others its just an all out payout festival. Still its this gathering is a symbol that in spite of our coexistence in the same household we are more than just room mates but part of something bigger, a family I guess. I don't have anything against technology either, its enriched my life dramatically I do think however we delude ourself insofar as the extent which it can be substituted for real care of one another and spending time with one another.

I don't have older relatives I’ve seen my gramma about 6 times in my life, my other grandparents I never really spent much time with. Relatives are mostly strewn out across the world and as a result i have virtually no contact. This doesn't make my life any worse per se, I’m happy and satisfied with it, however I think without the Christian community I would be even more selfish than I already am. Without community one doesn't really need to be other person centred, if you don't know the needs of others you won't end up fulfilling them or feeling a desire to help others out. Consumerism has brought me up as much as my parents have. Most of us come from a class of people who are money rich and time poor. What ends up happening is a substitution of care onto the economy. I've been in after school care, I’ve known both my parents have worked for as long as I’ve been in existence, and I've never really thought twice about it coming home to an empty house is just what happens.

My reaction for most of my life towards marriage and family has been to shudder and run a mile. Kids, a wife these come with responsibilities, tie you down, mortgages, financial burdens and generally impede the hedonism that is permissible with advanced economies such as Australia. Our society has structured further and further away from one that supports families. Further education has been made more and more essential, to become competitive in the labour market not only is higher education essential, but in some fields even post graduate degrees. I don't know if i'll be fully qualified even by 25. I always just accepted this there is no way that forming any sort of life and family was feasible till late 20's early 30's so it was never even worth considering. I always laughed at Christians when i first entered the community when they would talk about their future wives at 17,18 even 19 it was just a joke, i'd think "who thinks about this stuff and who thinks like this, how'd I ever get caught up with these people?".

I think the bibles model for human existence is one of community, people helping each other and making each others lives better. I think a large part of "utility" and "living standards" (terms politicians, economists and academics love to throw around), is made up from the community, from a sense of self worth and belonging to something bigger than yourself, your job and the crap you are constantly buying.

I aught to be helping out the elderly to have a comfortable existence in their senior years, as well as having the opportunity to learn from their wisdom and life experience. However we've tucked them away in aged care homes so i don't have to deal with them tottering about and demanding more blankets. The economy wins again??? I also aught to be sharing in experience of seeing other peoples kids grow up. Taking younger guys off to play sport or jump off rocks or to work together for the greater good of the community. Community forces us to become other person centric and value things above consumption and self betterment. the things which my life has reflected up until recently.

Fertility rates around the world have dropped. We just don't want families any more. We don't get married till later. And while sex before marriage has crumbled greatly in society, marriage and babies still go together. When people aren't marrying young i.e. under 27 there just isn't the time to have that many kids, things start to get a little bit more difficult after 35 as well, or so I’m told. In Australia we are at 1.72 kids per couple and the Japanese are bottoming out at 1.38. Considering you need at least over two to replenish the population we are for the first time experiencing declining populations. All developed countries are experiencing population decline and the phenomenon of the ageing population. I think this is kinda sad that there is a decline in the desire to have kids and families because of their impediment on consumption, career and a general hedonistic lifestyle. Its really quite a humorous sign of things gone wrong when the government in Singapore has to create a public online dating service, and adds calling people to get into relationships with slogans such as "in Singapore we take romance seriously", these should be the most natural and intrinsic processes in the world not things that need to be forced by government

I think God intended for us to be in families so that we would learn to be more Christ like. Your family is your first port of call when it comes to ministry. I don't think I’ll ever really know utter selflessness until I have a kid. Someone I’d be willing to sacrifice everything for. I think at the moment I’m still wrapped up in the world of individualism. It hurts to give, every time, it never gets any easier. Every time the church plate comes around or the opportunity arises it always hurts. That’s a night out I’m giving up, or 1, 100th of a plane ticket to somewhere, it means that I won't get to be as self indulgent this week. Even though i know that the people the money goes to will get far more from it and things they really really need like um, food, that I ever will or can imagine. It hurts to give up my time to, I could be earning money, or skating, or doing that all important uni work rather than doing whatever rubbish someone else has asked me to do. Something’s wrong here

Relationships for the 18-20somethings are getting screwed up. There's alot of loneliness out there. I don't know about other age groups but I’m feeling it for this age group. I think our friends can sometimes be viewed in the same light as everything else in our lives, expendable. People come an go, they become useless to us and we move on. Same with intimate relationships, people are running around jumping from person to person looking for a connection, and utilizing these relationships until the first sign of hardship comes and then its easier to start something new than fix something that has gone a little astray. I think the structure of society has alot to do with the rise of promiscuity. We are having sex with more partners than ever but having fewer babies than ever? That seems paradoxical, but it’s happening. I don't think its making us happier either.

I think in some ways alot of people are searching for what’s been lost in communities, in romantic relationships. A place and a sense of belonging, to know that someone out there cares for them even if its only one. Someone who cares for them even more than they care for themselves. I see people all the time getting screwed up because they end up sleeping with person after person in the hope of finding something real and something of what we lost to materialism, but they end up just being more lonely. When they have a partner there’s always something wrong and both parties are to scared to commit to each other or be vulnerable because at any second either party could run away. All the while people allow themselves to become as vulnerable physically as one can get in very short spaces of time, sometimes even one night! Clearly this is going to be painful. Even Christian couples are susceptible to this as many of my friend and people I know have ended up sleeping with people because they felt as though they were missing out on something. Most if not all end up regretting it, it doesn't really seem that going our own way yields real lasting benefits compared to going God's way. Though i wonder if we had more guidance and a better structure of mentoring so that we would be able to see and interact with model Christian couples would help. Unfortunately most of us seem to end up muddling our own way through while falling into traps and self delusions.

Most of the time we just don't have the relational skills to deal with the hardships of relationships and caring for others because we've always been able to buy happiness and solutions to our problems. Sexual immorality I believe would halve if we had better community. People would marry younger and there would be support for them. People wouldn't feel as lonely because of the community supporting them and the consumption of porn would decrease dramatically. I think we'd live lives more like God intended. God isn't a god of consumption, sure he makes nice things, the world is amazing, I don't really need to tell you that, all you need to do is look out your front door and you will see what our creator does when he breathes. The bible is filled not of his love affair with creation and his wanting for solutions right here and right now. No. The bible is filled with God's love affair with humanity, with his heartache and anguish over our relational state with him. How he didn't give up on us at the first sign of anguish but rather made a sacrifice to fix things at what I am told in the bible was great cost to him. This sort of way of relating to others with complete selflessness is what we need to practice so much more in our own lives and global community

I can't fix these problems and in some way I’m still trapped into the societal system that is in place. I do find it ironic however that our short-sightedness again has screwed us over as we have the epidemic of the "ageing population". As a result of having let family fall by the wayside we are left to look after more of the previous generation than is feasible and end up being forced to take a cut in the living standards that we have given up community for. The hunter becomes the hunted.

I'm blessed to be a part of the Christian community, and its been such a great sub-benefit of becoming a Christian. The lessons I’ve learnt from them are almost as invaluable as the ones I've learnt from the bible. I really hope and pray that governments begin to value family more than growth in the near future. Again Ironically its going to be family and environment that lead to long term sustainable growth, not raping and pillaging the earth and making it beneficial for people to stay single to support their lifestyle for as long as possible. God’s way really does appear to work, both on the individual level, the community level, the national level and the glo

posted by Douganator @ 8:20 PM