This song and it's lyrics are freaking amazing! 10 points to trent razor and nine inch nails. The whole new album is uploaded on myspace so gooooood, www.myspace.com/nin
I should have listened to her, so hard to keep control. We kept on eating but our bloated bellies still not full. She gave us all she had but we went and took some more. Can't seem to shut her legs our mother nature is a whore.
I got my propaganda i got revisionism. I got my violence in high def ultra-realism. All a part of this great nation. I got my fist I got my plan I got survivalism.
Hypnotic sound of siren echoing through the street. The cocking of the rifles, the marching of the feet. You see your world on fire,
don't try to act surprised. We did just what you told us. Lost our faith along the way and found ourselves believing your lies.
I got my propaganda i got revisionism. I got my violence in high def ultra-realism. All a part of this great nation. I got my fist I got my plan I got survivalism.
All bruised and broken bleeding, she asks to take my hand. I turn just keep on walking. But you'd do the same thing in the circumstance I'm sure you understand.
I got my propaganda i got revisionism. I got my violence in high def ultra-realism. All a part of this great nation. I got my fist I got my plan I got survivalism
I like this quote from an article i read, it sums up alot of things that are true
"How do you kiss a girl? The distance between you and her is just three inches. It's not a long stretch, by any standard. You barely even have to move your body to bridge the gap. Yet it is the most difficult three inches a man has to move in his life. It is the moment when the male must concede all the privileges that are his birthright; put his pride, ego, esteem, and hard work aside; and just hopehope that she doesn't deflect it with her cheek or, even worse, the let's-justbe- friends speech."
I don't think that people are supposed to structure themselves the way our society does. Relationships and families were never intended to fall by the wayside. You really can't replace raising children, marriage, friends and relationships with consumption. I don't think one can really get much at all out of life without having close relationships with the people around you. Though beyond the relationships of immediate family and friends there is something to be said for community. This ambiguous concept which gets thrown at anything which involves a group of people is being lost to consumption and economic growth.
I don't know where my views and values would be if it wasn't for the Christian community. Aside from the glorious discovery of a loving creator and his plan for the salvation of his people through Jesus, I've discovered the joy and benefits of community. I come from a nuclear family, mum, dad, and my sister are all the family I really have, and I’m very lucky and blessed to have them. However four people essentially don't lead to much of a community, we all have jobs and commitments and our family is more of a system of coexistence at the moment rather than co-dependency. I've never really had to look out for anyone else but me. That’s not a selfish thing, its just a fact, everyone in my family is healthy and pretty much problem free. It is a blessing for us to be like that as well.
The technological revolution doesn't really help us either, we are all wired to computer screens most of the time. One thing that I’ve come to appreciate that i used to hate is family meals. We usually have the TV off and sometimes conversation is good, sometimes its not, sometimes its awkward, sometimes its fun, sometimes its just a tad off, and others its just an all out payout festival. Still its this gathering is a symbol that in spite of our coexistence in the same household we are more than just room mates but part of something bigger, a family I guess. I don't have anything against technology either, its enriched my life dramatically I do think however we delude ourself insofar as the extent which it can be substituted for real care of one another and spending time with one another.
I don't have older relatives I’ve seen my gramma about 6 times in my life, my other grandparents I never really spent much time with. Relatives are mostly strewn out across the world and as a result i have virtually no contact. This doesn't make my life any worse per se, I’m happy and satisfied with it, however I think without the Christian community I would be even more selfish than I already am. Without community one doesn't really need to be other person centred, if you don't know the needs of others you won't end up fulfilling them or feeling a desire to help others out. Consumerism has brought me up as much as my parents have. Most of us come from a class of people who are money rich and time poor. What ends up happening is a substitution of care onto the economy. I've been in after school care, I’ve known both my parents have worked for as long as I’ve been in existence, and I've never really thought twice about it coming home to an empty house is just what happens.
My reaction for most of my life towards marriage and family has been to shudder and run a mile. Kids, a wife these come with responsibilities, tie you down, mortgages, financial burdens and generally impede the hedonism that is permissible with advanced economies such as Australia. Our society has structured further and further away from one that supports families. Further education has been made more and more essential, to become competitive in the labour market not only is higher education essential, but in some fields even post graduate degrees. I don't know if i'll be fully qualified even by 25. I always just accepted this there is no way that forming any sort of life and family was feasible till late 20's early 30's so it was never even worth considering. I always laughed at Christians when i first entered the community when they would talk about their future wives at 17,18 even 19 it was just a joke, i'd think "who thinks about this stuff and who thinks like this, how'd I ever get caught up with these people?".
I think the bibles model for human existence is one of community, people helping each other and making each others lives better. I think a large part of "utility" and "living standards" (terms politicians, economists and academics love to throw around), is made up from the community, from a sense of self worth and belonging to something bigger than yourself, your job and the crap you are constantly buying.
I aught to be helping out the elderly to have a comfortable existence in their senior years, as well as having the opportunity to learn from their wisdom and life experience. However we've tucked them away in aged care homes so i don't have to deal with them tottering about and demanding more blankets. The economy wins again??? I also aught to be sharing in experience of seeing other peoples kids grow up. Taking younger guys off to play sport or jump off rocks or to work together for the greater good of the community. Community forces us to become other person centric and value things above consumption and self betterment. the things which my life has reflected up until recently.
Fertility rates around the world have dropped. We just don't want families any more. We don't get married till later. And while sex before marriage has crumbled greatly in society, marriage and babies still go together. When people aren't marrying young i.e. under 27 there just isn't the time to have that many kids, things start to get a little bit more difficult after 35 as well, or so I’m told. In Australia we are at 1.72 kids per couple and the Japanese are bottoming out at 1.38. Considering you need at least over two to replenish the population we are for the first time experiencing declining populations. All developed countries are experiencing population decline and the phenomenon of the ageing population. I think this is kinda sad that there is a decline in the desire to have kids and families because of their impediment on consumption, career and a general hedonistic lifestyle. Its really quite a humorous sign of things gone wrong when the government in Singapore has to create a public online dating service, and adds calling people to get into relationships with slogans such as "in Singapore we take romance seriously", these should be the most natural and intrinsic processes in the world not things that need to be forced by government
I think God intended for us to be in families so that we would learn to be more Christ like. Your family is your first port of call when it comes to ministry. I don't think I’ll ever really know utter selflessness until I have a kid. Someone I’d be willing to sacrifice everything for. I think at the moment I’m still wrapped up in the world of individualism. It hurts to give, every time, it never gets any easier. Every time the church plate comes around or the opportunity arises it always hurts. That’s a night out I’m giving up, or 1, 100th of a plane ticket to somewhere, it means that I won't get to be as self indulgent this week. Even though i know that the people the money goes to will get far more from it and things they really really need like um, food, that I ever will or can imagine. It hurts to give up my time to, I could be earning money, or skating, or doing that all important uni work rather than doing whatever rubbish someone else has asked me to do. Something’s wrong here
Relationships for the 18-20somethings are getting screwed up. There's alot of loneliness out there. I don't know about other age groups but I’m feeling it for this age group. I think our friends can sometimes be viewed in the same light as everything else in our lives, expendable. People come an go, they become useless to us and we move on. Same with intimate relationships, people are running around jumping from person to person looking for a connection, and utilizing these relationships until the first sign of hardship comes and then its easier to start something new than fix something that has gone a little astray. I think the structure of society has alot to do with the rise of promiscuity. We are having sex with more partners than ever but having fewer babies than ever? That seems paradoxical, but it’s happening. I don't think its making us happier either.
I think in some ways alot of people are searching for what’s been lost in communities, in romantic relationships. A place and a sense of belonging, to know that someone out there cares for them even if its only one. Someone who cares for them even more than they care for themselves. I see people all the time getting screwed up because they end up sleeping with person after person in the hope of finding something real and something of what we lost to materialism, but they end up just being more lonely. When they have a partner there’s always something wrong and both parties are to scared to commit to each other or be vulnerable because at any second either party could run away. All the while people allow themselves to become as vulnerable physically as one can get in very short spaces of time, sometimes even one night! Clearly this is going to be painful. Even Christian couples are susceptible to this as many of my friend and people I know have ended up sleeping with people because they felt as though they were missing out on something. Most if not all end up regretting it, it doesn't really seem that going our own way yields real lasting benefits compared to going God's way. Though i wonder if we had more guidance and a better structure of mentoring so that we would be able to see and interact with model Christian couples would help. Unfortunately most of us seem to end up muddling our own way through while falling into traps and self delusions.
Most of the time we just don't have the relational skills to deal with the hardships of relationships and caring for others because we've always been able to buy happiness and solutions to our problems. Sexual immorality I believe would halve if we had better community. People would marry younger and there would be support for them. People wouldn't feel as lonely because of the community supporting them and the consumption of porn would decrease dramatically. I think we'd live lives more like God intended. God isn't a god of consumption, sure he makes nice things, the world is amazing, I don't really need to tell you that, all you need to do is look out your front door and you will see what our creator does when he breathes. The bible is filled not of his love affair with creation and his wanting for solutions right here and right now. No. The bible is filled with God's love affair with humanity, with his heartache and anguish over our relational state with him. How he didn't give up on us at the first sign of anguish but rather made a sacrifice to fix things at what I am told in the bible was great cost to him. This sort of way of relating to others with complete selflessness is what we need to practice so much more in our own lives and global community
I can't fix these problems and in some way I’m still trapped into the societal system that is in place. I do find it ironic however that our short-sightedness again has screwed us over as we have the epidemic of the "ageing population". As a result of having let family fall by the wayside we are left to look after more of the previous generation than is feasible and end up being forced to take a cut in the living standards that we have given up community for. The hunter becomes the hunted.
I'm blessed to be a part of the Christian community, and its been such a great sub-benefit of becoming a Christian. The lessons I’ve learnt from them are almost as invaluable as the ones I've learnt from the bible. I really hope and pray that governments begin to value family more than growth in the near future. Again Ironically its going to be family and environment that lead to long term sustainable growth, not raping and pillaging the earth and making it beneficial for people to stay single to support their lifestyle for as long as possible. God’s way really does appear to work, both on the individual level, the community level, the national level and the glo
Haha while writing this i got distracted and read an article on behavioral economics, which is basically a school which takes phsycology techniques and aplies it on a mass scale to try and explain the economy. The article states that there are only two groups of people who act rationally economists themselves and phsycopaths. look out people i may be the next phsycopath hehe.
Music i'm listening to
First off i really wanna recommend an album by a new band called "mika" truly stunning stuff, the first single "Grace Kelly" which is getting alot of airplay on the radio atm, captured my attention with the lead singers' awesome falsetto (very queenesque, he even references freddy mercury) and interesting lyrics. Heres the clip for the vid from Youtube
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uzA0nG_PurQ
However while this fun flirtacious ditty initially captured my ears, i'm really liking the more soulful grooves found on the rest of the album. High energy, fun songs that make you dance around the room, are hard to make, and i'm always happy to stumble upon these gems. However what i find very rare are artists that can produce slow ballads that aren't just plain boring. However mika has hit the nail on the head with "any other world" and "happy ending" nice piano melodies and string backgrounds make for very full sounds that are making me happy at the moment :). Another noteworthy tune for the more thoughtful melodic genre that has been gracing the curcuitry of my Mp3 player has been "arithmetic" by brooke fraser. Its a nice escape from the world to remember that really the only thing thats certain and desirable is Jesus. That while the world is big and vast and confusing, that God can't be nailed down to science or logic, but only to a wierd transcendental spiritual relationship with his creations, nnnoooice.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D23sjATRmQw
I've been thinking about sin and satan alot recently. As a bible believing Christian it my duty and joy for me to live God's way and to submit to the bible. However while it is a total blessing to be guided by God, we don't always live up to our own expections and fail to meet God's constantly. I am at times at a lose to explain why I continue to sin, both intentionally and unintentionally. Why i place worldly goals and values above those of Gods and live in a way that conveys that i prioritize materialism, self indulgence, popularity and gluttony above the kingdom of God. Of course this is illogical and irrational. It stems from the phenomenon of what economist have dubbed the "myopic tradition", i.e. we are short sighted. All of us as economic entities have made decisions which have given us a very short benifit such as meaningless purchases which compromise our future useage. People choose to live in the now, rather than doing is what is best for themselves and others in the long run. Global warming, hyper-consumerism, negative savings, huge trade deficits and the majority of environmental problems such as acid rain are the macro results of our species myopic nature.
Now getting back to sin, before i lose half of my readership for ranting on about economics for to long... I was thinking to myself what actually causes me to sin. I wanted to try and nail down, as a thought experiment, I started trying to nail the roots causes of my dichotomous life. Why there is such tension between my foot in the kingdom of God and the world?
Trying to figure sin out through a model
The point and essence of any model is to create a framework with which to better understand the world. To model a problem you can use maths, anecdotes, graphs, charts and whatever other analytical tools at your disposal that tickle your fancy. It The truth is that while most people retract when they hear the word "model" unless its followed closely by words such as "lingerie", "super" or "car" they've been using models their whole life and the bible is chock full of them. Mostly though with biblical models one has to stay within the anecdotal framework because the ideas and concepts dealt with are mainly qualitative rather than quatitative.
The three things which I feel that sin stems from in my life are these:
Myopicism Apathy Cynicism
conviently they lead to the handy acronym MAC, perhaps that is an omen which proves once and for all that Pc's are better than macks *cough* you know its true *cough*.
Myopicism There are real and definate gains to be made in this world by sinning. I've studied a bit of gametheory, and the justifications for cheating share an eerie parrallel to the justification for sin. Short term the gains are there to be made, but at the compromise of your relationship with all other participants in the game with you. In the first round you win, the second, third and so on, you lose, people basically screw you over for screwing them over indefinately. Lifes kinda like that with God, you can cheat, you can screw people over, you can indulge in all the consumerism, debauchery and worldly desires you so choose, but come period two, the guy whose been in charge of the game the whole time has one or two things about your actions in the first round. People still cheat because they are myopic, people still sin because they are myopic, long term you lose.
Its hard to trust the long term to God, sin in the short term delludes you with its sweetness, proverbs says that the words of the adultress taste like honey but go down like gravel. Sin is similar, it delludes you into believing that the gains to be made outweigh the long term costs of compromising a relationship with God. I know this, I say this, yet every day I sin in a myriad of different ways. If it was purely a case of short term gains played off against infinitely greater gains long term i would have rectified the problem, but the nature of sin mean that there is more to it than just making adjustments and continuing on in a more merry way
Apathy Apathy is the disease and curse which plauges me and i would imagine the majority of the human population. We see things that need doing and have lots of "shoulds" and "coulds" in our mind but relatively few of these ever come to fruition. I find myself regularly loosing momentum. I just simply don't do christian things. There seems no rhyme or reason to it, maybe i'm wrapped up in economics, maybe i'm just tired, who knows but my relationship with God falls by the wayside, the trials and tribulations of life take over and sin begins to creep back in. There seems to be a slow breakdown of the systems that one places in ones life to deal with sin. Things you swore you were over once and for all and old demons seem to rear their head after a while and your back in a dark place you though you had left. I think apathy can stem from feelings, when you feel down and antisocial, church and bible study seem like a chore. I know i've missed both for no reason, reading your bible just convicts you of your own sinfulness and so apathy slowly starts to strangle your faith. The great partner of apathy is cynicism very rarely will you find one without the other
Cynicism When the minister who eventually convinced me that Christianity was seriously worth a go, left my church he had ten points, i remember that in the top 3 one of them was "cynicism sucks". When your own looking for loopholes and flaws you will find them in the bible, even if they are not there. The classic pygmallion effect of what you believe becomes your reality, though in this case not actual reality. The image of God gets transformed from loving father to a despot who wishes to hold out all the fruits of life and make you miserable. Rather than being joyful that God chose you at all, all you can see is the millions who haven't been chosen and find nothing but anger and at times even hatred for your creator. Sometimes the more poetic language can feel frustrating and economic rationalism, science and one own way of living becomes more appealing. In the end mine and i'm sure most peoples cynicism gets so bad that the motivation to refrain from sin is just killed. I end up prioritizing spending money on going out rather than giving to church, the 3rd and 4th beer seem to go down just a little to easily. In the end whatever identity you convey to others its certainly not Christian. Of course you aren't going to feel like going to church either and those short term tangible gains from sin are starting to look pretty good. Thus this cycle of MAC traps you, one leads to the other leads to the other, until you no longer feel like you are living for Christ or being distinguishable as a believer either. The will to stand out and be an alien to this world diminishes as your citizenship becomes more and more firmly rooted to the world rather than God's kingdom.
I guess the point of all this is that in knowing how and why i spiral, and I assume others spirals also have similar elements, one is better equipped to tackle sin and reverse the trend. Obviously heaps can be written for each one of the three elements i identified, but thats just a short summary of what i've been thinking about recently in relation to sin. I think there is alot to be said to forcing yourself through not feeling like doing things. I haven't felt like going to church or bible study for a while i've probably only attended 50% of what i should have in the last couple of months for various reasons some valid some not. Though the times when I have gone i've actually got alot out of it. I had one of those blessed talks where it fits in exactly with what I'd been thinking about 2 weeks ago. All week my internal voice kept saying "I want forgiveness to seem real" and then we had one of the best talks on forgiveness i've heard in a while. 10 points for God for hooking that one up.
Random side point
The idea of being alien in the world has held rather true this week. My parents think that i feel superior and that i'm arrogant for taking the bibles words as truth over all else and being unwilling to compromise it. We've had some rather heated discussions about judgement recently, its hard to explain and hard to put in a way thats loving and helpful to them. They keep asking me, "do you think such and such is "damned"?" or "such and such should be punished for not doing XYZ even though they did ABC?" its hard, my bible says that the only way to God is through christ and that we need God and Jesus in order to be saved. I really want to tell my parents that the people they talk about will be in heaven and that being good is good enough. They corner me regularly into trying to make me say things in a way that isn't what God is all about, when i'm forced to say 'yes if they haven't fulfilled what God has asked of them in order to be saved then they will not be' they look at me disgustedly. My dad thinks that this is the most arrogant thing anyone can possibly believe and thinks that i'm being stupid and ridiculous for even bothering with Christianity at all. I just pray that maybe one day they might see the truth in it. When they talk to me like that though it makes me want to give up praying for them, I love them, I want them to be in the right place for eternity. At the moment however chrisitanity just seemed to have placed a divide between the kids and parents in our household. They don't get what or why we do the things we do, so they make remarks such as "have you solved the worlds problems yet?", or "are you saved yet?". Its hard to not rise to the subtext as these are clearly intended to belittle mine and my sisters faith, its more often (thankfully) its directed at me, because i can handle it better. Also i think there is an expectation for me to "know better" and to use the logic that they brought me up with to figure problems such as suffering, death, wickedness and injustice out rather than turning to solutions which seem at best unscientific. I spose I'll keep praying about it, though its hard to imagine God would change hearts that already seem so hardened.
"Japan's suicide rate rose from 22104 in 1992 to a record high of 33048 in 1999. Needless to mention the destruction of human resources - voluntary exits from the market oppurtunities of this world? is an indication that the factor inputs are not fully utillized ( and also that the neoclassical conception of market clearing and individual behaviour may be inadequate)"
So basically when people aren't employed they "exit" the market by killing themselves. Ahhhh dear somethings gone wrong when economists are putting the problem of suicide down to market failure. Cynical bastards hehehehe... They really do have a warped view on the world, people are just useful for making statistics and observing trends errrr right???
This is a collection of thoughts connected to my life as a Christian over the last month. I’ve done a lot of thinking and felt the need to write some of these thoughts and share them in order to stimulate discussion and provoke people to think earnestly about their life whether they are Christian or not. A note to non-Christian readers, I talk a bit about the holy spirit. This may seem like a freaky concept if you are unfamiliar with it, I know when I first approached this subject it seemed kind of bizarre and I didn’t really get it. Many Christians have differing opinions about what the holy spirit is. However my personal conception of the holy spirit is that when one has it one can believe in the God the bible talks about and the implications of Jesus death and resurrection which it lays out. The holy spirit is Gods presence in the world with Christians. For me at least it is nothing as supernatural as it may sound, it is just the motivation that comes from outside the world to live the Christian life and be convicted that the bible is Gods word and something to base one’s whole life upon. Also “Gospel” just means the good news of Jesus death and resurrection. The four gospels are the first four books in the new testament and they are basically an autobiography of Jesus life, death and resurrection. They are also worth a read if you haven’t done so already.
Risk
I’ve though quite a bit about risk for the past through weeks. I think my recent poker phase has given rise to this. Poker is a game about people that just happens to be played with cards. It involves split second judgments about risk. Cards get repeatedly dealt, all you can do is make the most of them, sometimes that means folding and minimizing your losses, sometimes that means going out on a limb crossing your fingers and hoping for the best. Sometimes your up and it feels like nothing can stop you, other times you get slapped in the face for what seems like no reason. Whatever cards you are dealt though risk is always a factor that is inevitable. Life is the same, to get anything out of it, taking risks is ironically one of the few certainties that we all face. I was thinking the other day about the risk I took in becoming a Christian. I was pondering whether it was worth it if I had bought into the most elaborate lie the world had ever conspired to create against me. This was what I wrote…
All I have ever known has been to do with the physical world. I know nothing but this world and have never experienced anything outside of it. Even my dreams which appear unbound by the physical world are merely components rearranged in ways not possible in reality, still they are derived from my experiences of the world. I am a being, in and of the world, enslaved to it because I cannot transcend it at my will nor leave without certainty of the consequences. Thus here I remain. Objects, particles, atoms etc. manifest themselves in a myriad of ways and the experience all seems to well constructed to be random. Is there any certainty apart from existence and the platitude that the world as governed by physics today will appear in a similar fashion tomorrow? Without this certainty as least one could not live a life with any meaning in the physical world.
The dilemma which I face is I spend fast portions of my life living for and thinking about things beyond the physical world. I choose to interpret life in a Christian way, though do I truly experience it that way? Are these “truths” that I have based my life upon 100% unshakeable? Can I really say that prayer works? It is easy to say that prayer will be answered or look at my life in a way that makes me conceive that God has been working through it. The bible can provide me a comprehensive argument to allow me to interpret certain events as being related to a spiritual/metaphysical realm beyond myself that incorporates God and Jesus as my savior. However I can also create an argument for my existence that is not biblically based and possible, while there is still this possibility there will always be doubt.
At the point in time where I became a Christian, could the sequence of events that made up my existence merely have fallen into place in a way that I could not respond in any other way? Did my immersion in literature and people which shared a Christian world view lead to a bias towards taking up this view as my own, thus by default rejecting all other views. We as Christians have an agenda, we have already decided on the “ truth” and nothing will sway us. When we constantly emerge ourselves in a metaphysical world whether real or imagined, we have no science or part of existence which actually refutes it and therefore slowly but surely we come around to thinking these outer realms exist and matter even more than the physical.
If we have no experience of that which goes beyond the physical world, as strongly as we feel, or believe in its power of causality, can we with absolute certainty live lives with absolute certainty in its existence? I could quite easily shift my perspective and return to being a purely physical being with no conception or reliable knowledge about anything beyond it. It would leave a mass of unanswered questions, but it is possible. The risk involved with doing such a thing however is astronomical. Even if I am 50% certain that everything the bible says is true, the thought of removing my life from the care of my creator and not having Jesus as my lord and savior is absurd! The implications of, Christianity if it is true, are far too great to not follow the necessary steps to please, honor and obey God. Eternity is at stake, not just 1000 years but an infinite existence, one which makes ones earthly existence, infinitely small in comparison.
Coin flip thought experiment
As a thought experiment, imagine if someone told you that for the next minute you had to obey them, talk to them and pledge everything you had for that next minute to them in return for the possibility that
You did it and the rest of your life with them was as they had promise, perfect in every way and fulfilling in an unimaginable variety of ways That if you did not you would experience eternity in a predicament which you would not wish upon your worst enemy.
Given this scenario even if the odds were 1 in 100 that this person was telling the truth, as long as there was something that made you think It could be true you would still live for that minute under their lordship? Perhaps your decision would be different if you thought that minute was all you had, however if you bump the probability up to even 20% that they are telling the truth, what do you have to lose?
The problem with this thought experiment when you transpose it to the Christian idea of judgment onto it is that salvation is based on having a relationship with God and personal faith. Faith being the trust and certainty in his presence, lordship, authorship and ability to manipulate both the physical and metaphysical world as he chooses. If this is the case probabilities just don’t work, faith is all or nothing. However I still think in probability based terms. I weigh up risks and choose the best available option. Christianity seems to be the best option, maybe because it is, but then possibly not.
Do I really have the holy spirit then?
So that was me doubting pretty hard. I wrote another mini-essay questioning whether the holy spirit had somehow deserted me in allowing me to have all these doubts. Re-reading it however it just seems silly and not worth sharing. Humans can be irrational, especially in relationships, unfortunately it seems our relationship with God is also vulnerable to this flaw of ours. I questioned whether the holy spirit had deserted me, and he answered by convicting me in the next few weeks. All that was necessary was read the bible and look at the thoughts that I am able to have and live my life by to know that the holy spirit has been with me all along.
Is Christianity a risk as I laid out in my doubtings? Yes. Anyone who has dabbled in any form of science or philosophy knows that there is no such thing as 100%. If you want to argue that, go and watch the matrix. It is far fetched and absurd to think that the matrix is true, but can you at the same time with 100% certainty say it is not? That we aren’t being fooled our whole lives by something beyond our physical world? No. All we have to go on is our own existence and experience of the world. Now while you have to weigh up the odds of whatever lifestyle you lead, to me Christianity looks like pocket aces (best hand you can get in Texas hold’em). There is no way you are going to fold a hand like that, in fact you might as well put all your chips on the table. Give it absolutely all you have because it looks to perfect to be true.
Thoughts on the book of acts
The book that has really convicted me that I have the Holy Spirit and that I’ve been on the right track all along is Acts. Acts is an amazing book that details the work of the apostles, the growth of the early church and actions of the first Christians. It tells the stories of the ordeals that various people went through in order to spread the Gospel message of Jesus and his death and resurrection. They are inspirational and even if you don’t believe in the gospel their faith and conviction of what the gospel meant for individuals across the globe is undeniable. One of the main characters in the book of acts is Paul, a Jew who originally persecuted and hated Christians with all his being. God then chose to become an apostle and further his mission by spreading the news about Jesus to the gentiles (non-Jews). His farewell to the Ephesians in Acts 20 is highly moving and shows a man who beyond the shadow of a doubt is convicted that what Jesus did meant everything to everyone. He says in Acts 20:23-24 “I only know that in every city the Holy Spirit warns me that prison and hardships are facing me. However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me – the task of testifying to the gospel of God’s grace.”
His words ring true for every Christian. If this is true then our lives mean nothing, and completing the task of testifying to the gospel of God’s grace is up to us all. Through our lives, words and actions. Our lives are what we stake as Christians. For some it may mean physically risking one’s life, for others it may mean traveling down a road that is far less comfortable than we could have and perhaps not even the one we would have liked to go down. However the rewards and joy of a relationship with God surpasses any comforts and temporary fulfillments that could have been found on these other roads.
The pray then leap approach to risk-taking
Risk-taking is not for everyone, however the men and women who populate the book of acts are compelled to take risks over and above what seems normal or logical if they had not been certain that the Gospel was true.
Acts really got me thinking about my life. What are my acts? I am naturally a risk taker, but what risks am I taking for Christ? I used to have a kind of motto of just leap and don’t look. This came from rollerblading, sometimes when there is a strong possibility of getting hurt, and badly to, you just have to shut your mind off concentrate on what you are doing and leap. This is the only way you can get better and the only way you can perform at a high level. I applied this philosophy to a lot of other areas of life such as relationships, who I chose to spend time with and what I did to my body. In these areas though the leap and don’t look approach was an abysmal one. I think when it comes to the Christian lifestyle I think a better idea is leap and pray. God won’t go back on his promises and if you are living for Christ, then the worst that can happen is death, which isn’t really all that crucial if what the bible says is true.
I have been frustrated recently because I am not fully utilizing the intelligence, material wealth and personality, which God has gifted me with, to its fullest potential. I know I can be doing more and every hour sitting back and relaxing is another hour where I’m not getting out there and actively making the world and its people better off. I sit back while the world is in turmoil. Life in mid-upper class Australia is cushy and presents a lot of opportunities. It is far too easy to be apathetic and let those opportunities pass me by. When will I be doing enough? I don’t know what one man can do. Though I know that I believe in the Christian community, it has the power to make changes in the world that are desperately needed. Equality, food, water, basic human rights and the gospel are desperately needed all over the world. We can change that, God calls us to change that, but all to often we sit back and focus on our own lives.
This rant of mine might be controversial, but I think that Australian Christians are far to focused on their personal relationships with God. Yes the elimination of sin from ones life is a worthy pursuit, but it isn’t the only pursuit a Christian has. So you eliminate all the sin in your life, your doing great in your relationship with God, but for what? What is the point if the worlds still left the same as it was yesterday? I’d rather see someone actively pursuing the changes that need to happen in the world that desperately struggles with sin than someone who is doing great with saying no to “the world” and keeping up with bible reading and prayer. I believe we are saved into something, the people in acts certainly seemed to perceive their salvation that way, why don’t we? Why does church sometimes just seem like a social club that has a self improvement focus?
I’m as guilty as the next Christian for being apathetic about it, but that doesn’t mean I don’t desperately want to do something about it. We all need to start making more risks, talking to more people about God, sorting out the crap that governments are causing the world, fighting for social justice causes and generally being active about making this world more what God intended rather than sitting back and just making ourselves more like what God intended. It’s a tough call but I’m game if you are. In 2 Thessalonians 3:6-14 (a letter Paul writes to one of the churches) there is a warning against idleness. I know I need to heed this warning more and be outwardly looking to actively pursue the changes that the world is crying for.
Why bother with the bible in the first place?
Last Sunday at Church we had a sermon on 2 timothy 3:16-17 “all scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteous, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.”
The sermon discussed the relevance of Gods word today, how it is authenticated and its historical accuracy. This got me thinking about my own bible reading. Reading God’s word is so important, I can’t survive as a Christian without it, especially considering my lifestyle. Without scripture I slowly am drawn back into the world, my thoughts become untwined from what the bible has to say and the vines or the world begin to strangle the rest of my thoughts until my actions can do nothing but follow. Doubt begins to rise, I wonder if I’m leading my whole life based on something that isn’t even there as the physical world rises in importance while God gets left behind. I love reading, non-fiction in particular, my love of learning about the world is insatiable, no matter how much I know I still want more, its just so fascinating, from people, science, economics, philosophy to literature. One can get lost in the thoughts of others an ones own. However without God’s voice and guidance through his word, these other voices dampen his. I’m always skeptical of Satan and his affect on the individual, I know that satan is a master of deception, and I am open to admitting that he has me fooled into believing he isn’t there most of the time. However, considering how hard I’ve doubted my faith recently, I question whether my internal world was perhaps being tinkered with. Maybe I was just being lazy and not, reading my bible, praying and going to church? When you cut yourself off from Christian influence and continue to plunge yourself into worldly situations, you will begin to shift back to a worldly stance. You know that Gods way is better, but in the moment the world beckons, it extends its hand to you and tells you everything will be alright, what is one more crazy night out? What is one more drink? What is wrong with taking girls home? Church will still be there, the bible will still be sitting on your bedside table when you get home, your brothers and sisters in Christ won’t reject you… no one will ever know. It’s empty though, the book of roman’s tells us “the wages of sin is death”. In some cases sin is just a nice band-aid the world provides for you while you face your demise. Chemicals that send you into oblivion and give the illusion of happiness, greed and materialism that allows you to gain some form of status in a world that is fallen anyway, you get into relationships that damage one another for personal gratification…
Is that what you want? I know when I think of it like that it’s not what I want. I want real life, through Christ, for Christ and working every day to be more like him and further God’s kingdom. It sounds kinda clichéd, specially seeing as these terms get bandied around Christian circles every day. But if you grasp the true worth of what these seemingly meaningless or “right things to say” in Christian circles mean, the whole world looks like a completely different place. A far better place
This in an excerpt from an email i sent to a mate, i thought others might appreciate
NYE was massive, crazy night, lots of events went down and everyone seemed to have an awesome time. I went to some Random party in narrenburn, which housed an interesting an eclectic crowd, everyone from a professional breakdancer, IT guys,Drug dealers and drug users... which you mentioned i should probably stay away from given your recent experiences. We headed out for the 12 o clock fireworks, which were so purdy and then me n tyrone decided to play speed dial. Whichis basically trying to extort as many numbers as possible from unsuspecting young ladies in the shortest amount of time. Ended up with four, but from poor techniques. My technique was basically just whack on a sketchy American accent and proclaim how much I love Australia and Auscees, then launch into fabricated stories about LA and how i just had to come bak after keith and Nicoles wedding. They bought it needless to say. Some NZ girl skipped the talking and went straight for the kiss, which i was unsuspectingso i turned into a rather awkward moment, so i hurried on my way. Now i have the problem that if i call any of these numbers i will have to explain myself as a con-man and the prospect of ever seeing these drunken young lasses will rapidly diminish, ahhh well such is life. Don't think I or they really missed out on anything. Interestingly enough I had my own deceiving ways turned back on me last night when me and my friends approached a couple of girls for a friendly chat, who suspected that our motives may not have been kosher per se, and proceeded to inform us they were in fact lesbians, I actually bought it for a while as one of them launched into her coming out story, which wore quite thin when she was pressed for details, needless to say i backed out of the conversation leaving tyrone to fearlessly fight his way through their barrage of bullshit. Though heterosexual or not his charms were ineffective...
On the Way home from the fireworks we decided to engage in some freestyle walking, always fun, which involved finding creative ways of making our way through the urban environment. While the earth turned into a canvas of object on which to expound our tipsy artistry, it failed to remind us that glass kinda breaks. Needless to say one of us did not heed this warning and decided to run up a window, to which his leg started to go through as the glass shattered around it. He was ok, but it was a fairly adrenalin filled moment... In other matters of adrenalin, driving in the city is a NIGHTMARE! One wrong turn and you are screwed. I took that turn last night as well, all the way down a one way street going the wrong way. oops! We were welcomed with a taxi tearing down the street straight for the head on collision i slammed on the horn the hazard lights and the breaks in a matter of milliseconds, leaving my passengers most likely with soiled underwear and my heart palpitating in some sort or seizure. We managed to pull a 9 point turn, with a group of what had previously been rather serious looking bystanders in hysterics, and head back down the one way street the right way.
Sound has a special place in my life. The soundscapes which envelope ones everyday life dictate the way we view the world. I know that 5 minutes from my house there is a storm water drain next to a creek that goes under the road. Its relaxing there, especially in storms, the wind hums down the pipe, the water gushes down the stream and over a waterfall next to it, cars splash water over the sides of the roads. The world is a wash with movement and vibrancy, sound pours itself into my ears and sets my mind at ease. I love the sounds of the city, its constant thrash is crazy and makes me stop and shut my eyes and think about all the lives being lived out around me without me ever having a part of them or anything to do with them. The city has the power to make you feel overwhelmed, nervous and sometimes even disgusted at the extent to which man has overpowered nature for commerce and economic prosperity.
There are constant beats in my earphones and throbbing from my computers subwoofer that act as a force that crams energy into my nervous system and fires my messages through my synapses. The carefully constructed, artificial, rhythms and grooves of dance music act as the background to many of my daily activities. I felt lost without my mp3 player, which broke after many hours of exercise caused its innards to rust from the constant barrage of sweat, yummy. It was weird the motivation to cycle almost completely left me. Getting up in the morning to grind up and down the winding roads that travel through bobbin head national park, Galston gorge and other such haunts suddenly became a massive effort.
The nature of cycling lends itself to music. The same movement gets repeated over and over again, with the only variation being in intensity and distribution of weight on the bike. That is not to take anything away from the skills and athleticism of cycling, because those simple movements can send you into a world of pain and suffering. High energy songs keep you going through those times when throwing down the bike in frustration seems like the best option. You lose focus on the pain and just attempt to keep in time with the beats pressing into your brain which are constantly running away from you.
There are times when you need to drop your life down a couple of gears, escape from the buzz and craziness of the routines and pressure that are placed upon you. I like thoughtful music in such moments. Lyrics, mind state and creativity are the three things I look for in music. I have little time for the technicality, skill of the musician or discrepancies between genre’s and styles, if it sounds good, makes me think and gives a new perspective through which to view any aspect of life, I’ll find a place for it. One such album which has been finding its way into my soundscape has been “The new arrivals” by Faithless.
Faithless have always been a unique and innovative force in the dance music world. They are hard to describe as a certain style or genre. “Electronic” does not do them justice. If I had to summate Faithless in a word it would be ontological. They make music concerned with people. Their music has a respect for the human condition and concern for its current state that few artists I know purvey. Something which electronic music tends to lack is intelligence, any kid with half a tech centered mind can bang out his own creation with fairly basic music editing programs. I am guilty of it myself. Hey, you never know, I could just make the “crazy frog” song. However faithless doesn’t meddle in this unintelligent nor commercial electronic music that seems to be ubiquitous throughout CD stores, clubs and the internet. I like the way that when they do use words they are designed to make you think, and the music is designed to make you feel. In a sense they impose on electronic music what tends to be missing from many other creators of it, they turn it back into an art.
A lot of faithless lyrics critique western culture and the flaws in western society. Some of their songs really make you question the way you are living. I often find that non-christian media can illuminate practical issues that people are concerned about and God is concerned about in a way that is harder hitting and cuts deeper than Christian media. I have so much respect for many non-christian thinkers, artists and philosophers who have given so much to the world and to my very own existence. I am addicted to reality, and finding out more and more about it. Artists like faithless help me to do this in ways that theology and Christian music does not. That is not to underestimate the later’s value. I am merely saying that Christian music and thought is not as comprehensive as many Christians believe and the rest of the world has a lot to offer in terms of understanding the world God created and the systems which humanity has put in place for its self.
I think the main reason why I connect more with this music than a lot of Christian stuff, is while Christian stuff praises our God and looks forward towards the future of Heaven and focuses us back on the cross, this looks at the now. Capitalism has raped and pillaged the world and our world is running under economic systems that are flawed and broken. Changing this world in the now is something that humanity needs to do, or perish. I know the Gospel is the most important thing in the world. But to think that spreading it is the only thing that we need to be doing as Christians rather than doing something about the shocking state that humanity has got itself into, is kinda apathetic in my mind. Besides there has to be people and a world for the gospel to go out into, so maybe looking after the canvas rather than just worrying about the paint is something worth doing more.
I’ll throw in a couple of faithless lyrics that I find I really connect with and make me think. Obviously as just words a lot of the feeling is lost, so I would recommend you get out there and either download or purchase some faithless and allow their soundscapes to take you into the faraway philosophical regions of your mind
Excerpt from mass destruction
My story stops here, lets be clear. This scenario is happening everywhere. And you ain't going to nirvana or far-vana, you're coming right back here to live out your karma. With even more drama than previously, seriously. Just how many centuries have we beenwaiting for someone else to make us free? And we refuse to seethat people overseas suffer just like we: Bad leadership and ego's unfettered and free Who feed on the people they're supposed to lead I don't need good people to pray and wait For the lord to make it all straight. There's only now, do it right.'Cos I don't want your daddy, leaving home tonight
Excerpt from reverence
I'm not a mystic, My views are realistic, simplistic, One special brew I get pissed quick And get sick so I don't do it no more I won't find peace of mind Rolling around on the floor The point I want to make is you can never escape from your fate The mistake is to take without giving From within, You wanna know how I'm living, I'm cool.. I'm looking after myself, And I could never place wealth before my spirit, I feel it's unhealthy The devil creep around your soul stealthy, stealthy
I want more Hey friend your misery bewilders me How come you're never satisfied or gratified Four walls n' a roof, electricity, Stable mind, wife and child, Hot and cold water to run anytime. But still you, whine.
i want more
I was told as a child I wants never gets Learned to count my blessings Long before I saw an abacus So what ya family don't speak At least they're alive Show me a man without guilt Or a soul that ain't lied You don't know what ya got Open your eyes, look around Really, hear me you, Ain't got no reason to be down
What d'ya meanI want more
Friend what is it that you seek What is it that you try to find Someday I hope you realized It shined in you all the time. Hills to climb, sights to see, seas to cross, Friends to make, hands to shake, the world is yours, Foods to taste, sounds to hear, love to feel, Seeds to sow, things to know, fish to reel, Space to quiz, stones to lift, life's a gift
Random thought on perspective that helped me cope during exams One of the fantastic things about knowing God is the experience of this world is suddenly temporary. With your future secure in Christ you are free to chase your dreams which have suddenly totally changed as God changes you and failure no longer exists because you’ve already won at life by dying to sin and being part of the new creation in Christ. I’ve never been so clam in a high pressure situation as these past exams. I slipped into “intellectual athlete” mode set up a training program and for a few weeks lived as efficiently as possible, eat, sleep, study, pray, exercise, read the bible, sleep. Repeat. You can stress out during these times, or you can trust God and do what you have to do and as do it as best as your body and mind lets you.
It's weird how becoming dependent on something (a.k.a God) outside the world who relates to us from other dimensions, suddenly frees us within the world. We are in the world and yet our life is not of it, as suddenly our actions are based on realms beyond it with consequences both in it and outside of it. This is truly mindboggling if you think about it for more than 20 seconds.
Selah (1 missipi...2missipi....20missipi)
The idea of the old self bound up inside the world dying and then being created a new has become more and more of a reality. In a sense existence is no longer constrained to your sensory perception of objects and people nor thought. Christians now exist on spiritual and relational plains which they never could access or could even conceive existed before they came to Christ. What this means is that whatever happens within the world which only has consequences in this world is no longer of the highest importance. We can now draw on the whole of reality to make decisions and not be to phased about the setbacks and obstacles that are thrown at us by the world. That freedom from the world can allow to eliminate states such as anger, stress, jealousy, guilt and other emotions which are tied directly to external things.
Think about this, how is it that you came to perceive the aforementioned emotional states? I read an article on shame, by Satre, the other night on how we conceive knowledge about shame. Basically a lot of our emotions are entwined in the world we live in. He argues that it isn’t actually possible to feel guilty unless there is another human being in our reailty. So much of what we think and feel is wrapped up in their other beings with demands on us, who are constanly making assessments about who we are, our value and worth as a human being. God frees us from that, we only have to live us to his expectations, no easy feat, but still, it is far more meaningful to live up to a standard that is eternal and failing than constantly trying to please everyone in your world and ending up feeling temporarily stressed, guilty etc. When you realize this and believe that God believes in you, you actually can perform a whole lot better in the world. Kinda ironic I know. This thought may seem a bit jumble but if you can decipher this rambling, rock on.
People are awesome :) People never cease to amaze me, they bring a richness and depth to ones personal existence and have an entirely unique place in Gods world that separates them from the rest of creation. These uni holidays so far have allowed me the opportunity to spend time relating to vast amounts of people from a huge array of backgrounds. Normally I’m so pressed with other responsibilities that just maintaining the relationships I do have is hard enough let alone meeting and getting to know new people. However the vast array of social events which litter my calendar and NTE(national training event), have provided some fantastic opportunities to accelerate old relationships and start new ones, even if they are only as brief as a few hours. So yay for holidays!
There is a dangerous balance of uncertainty and excitement that can go into a night out in some social circles. The night holds nothing but possibility it is a blank canvas for events, people and objects to come together and manifest themselves into crazy stories that can be told for many months to come. It is no secret that I have a plethora of strange folk whom I associate with. This is something which I am thankful to God that my life experience and passion for people has provided me with. Mathews gospel tells us
“ While Jesus was having dinner at Matthew's house, many tax collectors and "sinners" came and ate with him and his disciples.When the Pharisees saw this, they asked his disciples, "Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and 'sinners'?" On hearing this, Jesus said, "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. But go and learn what this means: 'I desire mercy, not sacrifice.'For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners."”
The element of Jesus that pressed him to hang out with people no matter how broken nor far from the social norm is something I admire and try to cultivate in my own life. Another example of Jesus loving broken people comes in his dining with the pareses and a woman, who leads a sinful, broken life comes to him knowing her own need for salvation, and breaks down in worship as she knows Jesus is the only one who can save her. He then asks the pareses who would be more thankful someone who had a $5000 (or denarii) debt or a $50 debt. Obviously the guy with the $5000 debt. It’s a powerful analogy and one that is helpful for when I feel inadequate especially when surrounded by so many brothers and sisters who appear to have lived their whole lives with integrity. I know many share this same struggle of comparing themselves with others and looking at their own lives and feeling like they are somehow sub-par Christians because they don’t seem to glide through the Christian life with the same ease and acceptance that some do. Though how much more thankful should I be to Jesus if my debt is larger than someone elses!
I believe in following Jesus example and forgetting about how sinful someone is. I try to look past the labels and stereotypes and labels society gives them, no matter who they are, or what they do I will connect with them for the simple fact that they are human and so am I. They are sinful and so am I. We both can’t save ourselves, except by grace alone. Unfair? Perhaps. But in the words of “Relient K” one of my favorite Christian bands “the beauty of grace is life’s not fair.” Christians can be some of the harshest judges in society. While God may be angry at the sin and in deed at the sinner for offending him, he still created them, and wants them to turn back to him. What right do we have to not look past the sin and see just a person facing the exact same predicament that you or I face? Christians need to get out of their comfort zones far more often than they do. I don’t do it enough, sometimes its just easier to connect with a band or singer in my MP3 player than say hi to the person sitting next to me. The bible studies in leafy suburban homes, the conservative middle class evangelical church meetings, uni public meetings are all tops. But they can be just a tad to comfortable. Its all “fellowship, encourgagement, boardgames and prayer nights” in our comfortable little world. Though when we step outside of it and feel the full weight of humanities brokenness and share the treasure that God has imbued inside our weak frames, that is when we are really living for Christ and pursuing the mission of evangelism that God has given us.
The couple of days I went on Mission post NTE were fantastic for feeling uncomfortable, inadequate and stripped of self-sufficiency. Sounds like fun doesn’t it! At the end of the day all those feelings where stripped when a full realization of what ministry means hit me. Its just you engaging with another person and taking about reality with them. Sure you adjust to peoples age, knowledge and background in order to communicate more effectively, but at the end of the day your talking about life, God and Jesus and why they need him as much as you do. Sure they may not commit their lives then and there, but you may be the only conversation they have had in months, even years, that makes them consider God and everything he has done for them. I’m constantly reminded we only plant the seeds we don’t choose where they land or grow them. My own lengthy coming to Christ after a solid year of questioning and conversations with Christians is a constant humbling reminder that I may never see the fruits of my ministry but ever little baby step of the way that I can guide someone is nothing to get discouraged at.
So yah, in short, stress less but rely on God more, Love everyone and tell them all about Jesus. Sounds simple right?
I would like to draw peoples attention to the fact that myspace exists and has other functions that blogging doesn't. It also demonstrates how riduclously popular u are and how many people love you enough to write comments to you. So for the ultimate in personal vanity i suggest you get one! You now also have the ability to reach my, myspace through this blog.... I know i know the wonders of technology, whatever will the kids think of next :)
Xavier rudd's song "the message" makes me proud to be Australian, want to pack up my city life and go live in the bush, eating "tucka" and sleeping in a "swag". preferably somewhere in the kimberies in northern territory. It also makes me want to go fight for the environment. Gotta love this sunburnt country of ours, and what better way to express it than with a guitar and some heartfelt lyrics.
Also an invention has been created which outclasses even my novelty belt... THE AIR GUITAR T-SHIRT :O!!! i know, i am as stunned as you are.... will I get one, who knows? but the concept is just 2 damn cool.... For the not so cool though this geeky document shows yah how it works.... mmmmm acedemic journals...http://www.tml.tkk.fi/~tmakipat/pubs/paper117.pdf seem to spend my life reading these bitches, ahhh well this one is more interesting than the last article i read on "augmented phillips curves and inflation conflict models" *vomits a pile of bile in a nearby corner and looks quezy (just from repeating the title again)* try reading one of the damn things..... ARGGHHH.
I bought more bike shorts today, they look super sexy, as they wrap around my thighs, i am just a dream to look at in them. Actually i've never felt more homosexual in my life, but i'm comfortable enough with my sexuality not to really care... *at least, i thought i was heheh*.... I am quite tempted to post an animation my friend send me of a nude man jumping around with a sign that you can type a msg in (i know your out there mel :P) such as "hey big boy" or "i am gay"... unfortunately some of my more conservative readers may be pushed over the edge, especially after tempting references to myself in lycra. And seeing as i am hear to serve and wish to retain my loyal readership, i alas refrain.
As one can see the 4th day of solid studying without human contact has pushed me further into my own little world. So far so that i am starting to actually see the world totally as an economist, as a collection of variables that all share relationships with one another, you change one and everything gets messy. I've even managed to come up with an economic model in my head for the phenomenon of 4 little words no1 likes to hear "lets just be friends" based on the aggregate supply and demand model, using floating interest rates (interest, you get it HAH *bows head at own geekiness, but revels in his superior knowledge, HAH*) and a new Keynsian model for aggregate supply. I'll write it up when exams finish, and you guys can test them out "dolly" magazine style on all your "cute crushes of the month". The model comes complete with exogenous (variables coming from outside the model) shocks and how to do them to get you back in the zone, wooot! Yes i'm going slightly mad, and soon i shall be on my bicycle so that should hopefully give me some endorphins to make me sane again.
I Miss people in general, lifes quite empty when books are your only friend, but these periods are a necessity at times. I would very much like a tea party with all of my friends, and some scones, that would make me happy indeed, but tiz not to be for now.... Actually a few beers, a pizza, and a couple of mates would probably do the trick... *did someone say a man day!*...(girls you can be honarary men if you so choose, but you get all the advantages and disadvantages (are there any) that come with it.
open the aplet, its amazing. It documents what people are feeling all over the world from what they have posted in their blogs. Can spend hours playing with it. I love it. Any sentence, in a blog, that has "I feel" or "feeling" in it gets recorded and put in their database and then you can search it and make it generate statistics... like how many people have felt sad in germany who are thirty in the last 2 days. Pretty interesting stuff
So the other day I was cruising through uni on my skateboard with my headphones on, weaving through people, totally oblivious to people, and entirely wrapped in my own world. I realized how much most of the time people are just objects to us, moving objects, living objects, yes. But still objects. It is only until we engage with their minds that they become so much more than an object, it is humanities ability to relate to one another that makes us more than objects. Other people become something to us when we relate to them, it is because they become more than objects they become "beings". Things which have established a meaningful relationship and unique relationship to the world around them. They have a completely unique way of coping with existence and moving through it that we can peer into when they open windows into their existence.
I think at times it’s easy to forget others exist, not in the physical sense, that would be stupid, but in the sense that they are beings in the world with purpose, perspective, perception and subjectivity. It is impossible for this to manifest to us as an individual as we don't have the time to perceive most people as anything more than objects. The only value we can have of another being until we have experience some form of communication with it, is a base level understand that they exist on all the levels that we do, even though we don't acknowledge their existence on anything more than a physical level. For this reason people just blend into the world of objects most of the time, merely things to be avoided because we do not have the time to communicate with them. Nor any reason to expose our own vulnerability by sharing the fact that we exist on any other level rather than just the physical.
However people’s existence only becomes pressing to us when our mind is directed towards someone’s existence. When we see someone in pain our mind acknowledges their existence as a being with feelings and therefore wishes to help them because, (personally at least) we have created a system for ourselves which wishes for us and others to avoid unnecessary pain.
Something I have noticed with uni, is this theory I have called "stalker theory". You meet someone by chance, say you are introduced by a friend, or just decide to sit and have a chat with someone. I notice that with these people whom I had never previously seen before in my life, they keep cropping up around uni, in a way that seems almost like destiny. I think the reason being is that our mind is directed towards them because no longer are they an object but they now become a being and therefore our mind acknowledges them as an anomaly amongst the objects and is directed towards them. Hence while it seems like they are popping up all over the place, the truth is they have always been there and you have probably even walked pass them as many times in the months pre-acknowledging them, but now they are a being and not just an object therefore drawing the attention of the mind.
I also find Jean Paul Satre's perspective on a range of emotions. We only feel things like shame, guilt and amusement because of others. Without the existence of other beings we could not feel things like this. It is only the realization that their mind will be directed to a certain aspect of our character if we do abnormal things that we feel these emotions. It is for this reason why I feel mildly embarrassed when I fall off my skateboard or rollerblades in front of strangers, as I no longer exist to them as an object but a being whom hasn't the mental capacity to cope with existing on wheels, traveling at high speeds!
What’s also interesting about the phenomenon of people as objects is also the reverse. While you might see this way of viewing strangers as shallow and not valuing people as they should be, I find the reverse is also true. Those who are close to you become virtually unlimited beings, beings who exist on more facets than we can imagine... sure we can categorize their facets into a range of levels such as emotional, relational creative etc. however like any model this requires a certain abstraction from reality and does not do a person in reality justice. This is the beauty of relationships, is once in one, one has the pleasure of pluming a virtually infinite being. A being that can exist alongside of you in the world rather than outside of you as an object. Something you can share existence with and acknowledge one another on every levels rather than just the objective physical one.
It is this perspective on existence that has partly led to my belief in the Christian God. A God who unlike anything else is an infinite being, tied to nothing, but still very much alive. For how can we know God if he does not exists physically to us? Well we can know him on every other level through reading the bible, prayer and generally relating to him, and we can witness his physical work through his creation. We can share our existence with him alongside of us, sharing with him our lives on every other facet except the physical at present.
It is this fact that makes Christian living worthwhile and exciting. We have not only our present being in the world, but also our being outside of the world to look forward to sharing our relationship with God. I used to question the idea of eternally being in heaven, and whether I could be satisfied and content for an eternity. However my own experience of relating to finite beings, humans, who are tied to the world and being unable to truly know them over the course of one life time has led to continued satisfaction and contentment. How much more wonderful, content and satisfied will one be experiencing an eternity of knowing an infinite being, tied to nothing, together with those finite beings, in heaven?
1 Corinthians 1-31 21For since in the wisdom of God the world through its wisdom did not know him, God was pleased through the foolishness of what was preached to save those who believe. 22Jews demand miraculous signs and Greeks look for wisdom, 23but we preach Christ crucified: a stumbling block to Jews and foolishness to Gentiles, 24but to those whom God has called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God. 25For the foolishness of God is wiser than man's wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than man's strength.
Sometimes you find songs that you really connect with lyrically, you share a sense of empathy with aspects of the song, i find that happening alot with this song. It's by an aussie rock band called "sick puppies" the hadn't done anything for ages but with their new album coming up hopefully we should hear lots of them. The video for this song is awesome 2... free hugs, woot! who doesn't love a good hug. However what really draws my attention is the fact that this has so many christian undertones and yet i'm pretty sure they are not a christian band judging from some of the other lyrical content in their other songs. Now not wanting to take away from their original meaning, but if you read the song from the perspective of it being God speaking to humanity, the song takes on a new light. It reminds me of a God that is interested in the idividual and the sinner rather than the sin, who wants us to be real with him, who understands that we will rebel against us and yet promises us to hold his arms open to us when we go to him. It reminds me that God is intersted primarily in a relationship and just wants us to have one with him, and he understands the transformation to becoming godly will not happen overnight but as that relationship grows. Enjoy the song :)
All the same
I don't mind where you come from As long as you come to me I don't like illusions I can't see Them clearly
I don't care no I wouldn't dare To fix the twist in you You've shown me eventually What you'll do
I don't mind... I don't care... As long are you're here Go ahead tell me you'll leave again You'll just come back running Holding your scarred heart in hand It's all the same
And I'll take you for who you are If you take me for everything Do it all over again It's all the same
Hours slide and days go by Till you decide to come And in between it always seems too long All of a sudden
And I have the skill, yeah I have the will To breathe you in while I can However long you stay Is all that I am
I don't mind... I don't care... As long are you're here Go ahead tell me you'll leave again You'll just come back running Holding your scarred heart in hand
This man makes me laugh until i cry. Relax and be groovy because thats what Christians do :) Blas for me, Blas for you Blas for everybody... all apologise if you take offence but i can't help but adore this mans comedic genius
Kate's (uni friend) new nickname i have decided should be 8ball. I don't know if you guys have ever seen that toy which is an 8ball which you shake and it gives you answers, like "no", "ask again later" "it is certain" "don't count on it" and other phrases.. well Kate reminded me of one of those today.
As you may know Kate has incredibly expressive eyes, and manages to communicate alot through them. those eyes are like the 8ball she shakes her head the eyes move and viola! The answer to your question pops up. I tend to get the full range of eye expressions as i enjoy shaking her (metaphorically) and seeing what answer I will get. Most of the time it seems to be "don't even think about it" particularly when i'm serenading her with, "don't wanna beee alllll byyyyy mmyyyseeelllfffff" a classic which she of course is addicted to. Anyway from this day forth the 8balls will prevail, give her a shake and her eyes will not lie, they can tell you exactly what the future holds...ooo scary
In other news: Chris Hayter managed to create three sentences using only four words. Either he is a literary genius for reinventing the use of full stops or he needs to revisit kindy... Still he got a D in the paper so bravo... He read me the statement and let me tell you the impact was comparable to a meteor the size of zimbabwe hitting sydney....
A note to all my presence on MSN is being severely limited due to lack of uni work. If you feel like your suffocating without my soothing presence i'm only a phone call away... well i soon will be as my neighbor hasn't given me her phone yet after missplacing mine at a parttayyy... quite clearly i was have a little to much fun to remember minor details like the location of my audio communicative wave modulating demodulating device
P.S try making electronic devices sounding ten times more geeky than they are, you may just like it ;)
The pull of the world and Misconceptions about Christianity
The pull of the world and clearing up the misconceptions
The world can offer you fulfillment, it can offer to satisfy your desires needs and wants. Sex, drugs, consumption, media, excitement, and adrenalin it is all there. What more could a person want when their flesh can be stimulated by the world on demand. Who needs to consider a God when living your own way is just more fun, more adventurous and more exciting?
This week I was talking to Tarma a good friend from uni, who realized the deception of the world more than anyone I have encountered. He spoke to me of the drastic measures he has had to take in order to not succumb to the temptation of the world. How he had to restrain himself from countless hours of television, move a computer out of his room, and carefully select which movies he watches. It was inspirational, to see how aware of reality he is, how desiring God came first over the world. One can so easily be waylaid by the so called pleasures of this world, and get trapped into thinking that they will bring happiness and contentment. The world is ephemeral; any happiness it brings will not last, for it is outcome based. Worldly logic: “This happens I am happy and content therefore I need to keep doing this to stay happy”. I don’t know if I need to go to such lengths as my friend has, yet his motivation to shun the world and desire God with all his heart, mind and soul was encouraging.
I like every other Christian am in direct conflict with what my body and what rational decision making incorporating God tells me to do. I have lived a life which has allowed the world to wrap its arms around me and deceive me into thinking I am satisfied. Occasionally I have been satisfied with the world, with nights out drinking with mates, with girls who were willing to go anywhere and do anything, with coarse conversations and shunning responsibilities because I wanted to do my own thing… It’s so easy to slip back into that lifestyle, to let go and not care. But does it lead to contentment or long lasting happiness? No, only God and my relationship with him can provide that.
The tighter the worlds grip on you the harder it is to free yourself from it. A lot of aspects of the world are analogous to smoking, if you never start, you will never crave. Whether fortunately or unfortunately I have been left craving the world, while knowing what God wants me to do. I feel its pull every day and desperately want what it offers, all the while knowing that whatever satisfaction it will bring will be temporary and drag me away from God. The mind has a fantastic way of rationalizing sin. There are some sins which while the bible tells me are sins, I find it hard to rationalize why they are sinful and I am easily “tempted” so to speak, because I cannot understand Gods reasoning for things. However this rationalization and justification of sin sucks because it makes me look hypocritical and a bad witness to Christ.
I have spent many hours questioning who I am and what I believe, both pre and post Christianity. I admit I have not taken all my knowledge from God or the bible and this presents difficulties, because I am always tempted to share my own intellectual struggles and subjective paradoxes, with willing and empathetic non Christian ears. However I should not turn to the world for comfort in the face of sin. I should not boost my ego by presenting fancifully fabricated arguments that justify the way I live and bask in the heart felt nods and affirmations from the non-christian community.
I felt the weight of this tonight, when I was plunged into an evangelistic conversation with work colleagues over dinner. I find issues of sexuality, lust and drinking difficult to talk about because I have struggled so much with these issues and so easily empathize with people who engage in practices which are considered sinful. I thank God However that these issues led to discussion about Christianity. Its awesome to be able to share with my workmates the gospel message, especially people who while disagreeing with it are eager to hear it. People are often drawn in by the gospel message and it is a stark contrast to what the world has to offer. When people see that you are living for something beyond this world, while they may believe it to be foolish and at times even living a lie, they are usually intrigued about your belief system. They are eager to hear how you came to the conclusions you have done while going through the same experience of existence in the same world that they are in.
I find with a lot of conversations, people always have prejudgments about what I believe and think as a Christian. I often find that the vast majority of evangelism is clearing up misconceptions. People usually know the gospel message but have many misconceptions about what true Christianity are. We Christians aren’t really the underground society we sometimes like to think we are, there are lots of us and we come in many different flavours to, from Hillsong to Anglicans. You can’t talk to someone in Sydney without them having a preconceived notion of what Christianity means and why they don’t believe it.
I’m finding that lots of people have never really considered God to be relational and therefore see God as purely an all powerful, all knowing being, who occasionally does stuff for his people when we pray to him. A relationship with God is the foundation from which we work from, we need God because we broke our relationship with him. We need Jesus because he reconciled us back to God. We can re-enter into a perfect relationship with God in heaven because we have become Holy in Gods eyes, and therefore can enter his presence without him having to reject us out of justice to himself and his perfection. Relationships are at the heart of God, not some distant creator who occasionally comes down to help his people when they pray to him. Without a relationship with God, we are nothing, the cross means nothing. The cross is actually illogical if we don’t have a relational/personal God. One man dies as a sacrifice for our sins, yet he comes back? But he’s back??? where is the sacrifice??? what happened?? I’m not actually sure what happened in those three days, but I know that God used this event to reconcile us back to him, and from reading Pauls letters and knowing the effects that, that event has caused on the humanity, I know something truly great happened on the cross. To truly appreciate that greatness one has to have an understanding of God as a personal God who wants to enter into a relationship with you. Something which most people have not realized nor understood the implications of after proclaiming they understand everything there is to know about Christianity
I seem to keep needing to refer to Mark 2:17, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.” How many times will people ask me “do you think you are better than me?”. My own mother has asked me this question on many occasions. I am no better than the non-believer and no Christian should ever think of themselves as any better nor any more special than the non-believer. They should love them as themselves, be willing to serve them like they would a Christian brother or sister and be patient with them even if they never do turn to Christ. That is not a decision for the Christian to force upon them but God if he so chooses. We as Christians are all too quick to judge, we are quick to give our opinions on how we don’t advocate homosexuality, abortion or any number of the hot topics. We leave people embittered about what the Christian community feels, and leave them viewing us as hypocritical. I personally don’t think we need to be so forceful with our views. We cannot put sin into a hierarchy and make those who are living lifestyles which are counter-Christian feel uncomfortable around us. There are far more pressing truths that we need to explain and share with non Christians before we dive into conversations about sexuality, laws and the range of sins that exist and we shun.
Sin to a non-Christian is meaningless, why should we tell them something is sinful when we know full well they will just laugh at us because they do not accept Jesus anyway? We should be pushing the message of hope and salvation into the public eye, and be known as people who believe in a personal and relational God, not those who abhor sexuality before marriage and homosexuality because we think its wrong. I’m sick of being branded judgmental just because I’m Christian and needing to clear up these misconceptions that should have never arisen in the first place.
There is one bible. This is a hard concept for most people to get their heads around… Yes Catholics include the apocrypha and yes there are many translations, but there is one bible. It is hard to express this point succinctly, especially when you could do an entire presentation on why the bible can be trusted as a source of truth, be that the ESV, NIV or any number of the trustworthy translations out there. I find this is a misconception that needs regularly clearing up as people are skeptical about a book that has been translated so many times and has needed to go through a canonical process.
Lastly I find that people regularly hit the big theological hot topics. It is hard to present succinct arguments for these, as I myself don’t have the answers and sometimes the answers are not to be had. I question, is it better to divert the question or point them towards resources that might help? When someone brings up the question of a God that’s all loving and allows suffering, it is hard to know what to do. There are books of hundreds of pages which deal with the issue yet the person sitting in front of you needs an answer, one to two minutes long. Toughness. Though I guess all we can do is trust God and hope for the best even though these issues may make us look foolish and as though we buy into an argument which has flawed logic.
Please pray for Carmen, Richard and Jeremy. This email is the result of the conversation I had with them. I get frustrated because I am still doubtful of whether I actually do anything, peoples hearts always seem to hard for any of the gospel message to penetrate. All we can do is throw seeds, it is up to God to determine how they land and whether they will blossom one day into something more. Goodnight guys, God bless J
P.S thanks for reading this if you made it this far
I'm just putting this out there as idea for my next party/social/church event, i think that there is nothing more bonding than strapping on a silly suit and jumping off a cliff like these cats.. lets do it!
This is from my econ210 class msg board. I am the token white guy in the class, surrounded by not so fun luving others... This clash of personalities and approaches to uni amused me, so i feel obligated to amuse you with it as well...
heya, could someone plz tell me if dr pundarik finished going thru both topics 5 and 6 in todays lecture? or if he didnt, where did he get up to? thanx ;) ReplyQuoteDownload Message no. 5637 Author: Hee Yoo Date: Monday, October 23, 2006 8:27pm He finished all the topics in today's lecture. (i.e. Topic 6) =) ReplyQuoteDownload Message no. 5638 Author: Anam Bilgrami Date: Monday, October 23, 2006 10:23pm ok thanx :) ReplyQuoteDownload Message no. 5639 Author: Freda Tan Date: Monday, October 23, 2006 10:46pm um...i hate to nag but please...the winking... ReplyQuoteDownload Message no. 5641 Author: Andrew Douglas 1 Date: Tuesday, October 24, 2006 9:12pm LOL, are u complaining about winking... thats the lamest thing i've heard all day, economics should be a bright and vibrant subject not the dismal science it has been dubbed. So i shall stick my tongue out :P and wink suggestively at you ;) for prolonged periods of time... STAY CLASSY, my gal ReplyQuoteDownload Message no. 5642 Author: Richard Berky Date: Tuesday, October 24, 2006 10:11pm You have a number 1 after your name. lol.. >_<>_< ReplyQuoteDownload Message no. 5645 Author: Ronald Lau Date: Wednesday, October 25, 2006 12:01am well... Andrew, i'll have to say, its actually not that lame at all economics isnt that bright and vibrant as ppl portray it to be... i mean.. just look at econ201.. macro... could u possibly find a better solution for insomnia also i think winking "suggestively" is even more inappropriate on a PUBLIC discussion board if you want to carry on like this, i dont think the whole 210 course needs to know abt it there is such a thing as a private post... save Freda the embarassment ;) ReplyQuoteDownload Message no. 5647 Author: Anam Bilgrami Date: Wednesday, October 25, 2006 12:58pm This seems to be a recurring issue for you, Freda (Friedman) Tan. You have brought this up in the past too, and it leaves me quite concerned about you. Is there a reason that you are so against winking, whether it is suggestive or not? It is a natural and beautiful form of expression and a great way to EXHIBIT one's emotions. By the way, you BOWL me away ;) ReplyQuoteDownload Message no. 5650 Author: Freda Tan Date: Thursday, October 26, 2006 4:58pm no im more concerned about you Aman Bilgrami. its just that well convulsive winking the way you seem to be doing in these discussion boards is just as distracting to other ppl's learning as your seizures in lectures about anything remotely funny. as Ronald Lau said, there is such a thing as a private post for such public displays of emotion. ReplyQuoteDownload Message no. 5651 Author: Andrew Douglas 1 Date: Thursday, October 26, 2006 6:50pm freda your make me laugh. You make me smile, i cannot hold back my emotions and wish to display them to you publicly. You and i should take a long walk on a sunset beach and sip pina colada... i'm sorry for being suggestive ;) next time i'll be more direct. Economics might be dismal at times aka micro and all those crazy cats opposing one another over classical, neo-classical and keynsian and all that jazz, but hey who sez economists can be the life of the party :D uber smiling... Also if we ever make it to the corporate world we will have years of emailing where emoticons will be innappropriate, therefore in this casual and free environment for learning lets emote our ways to the top! *dances like he has been electrocuted*... laugh a little, live a litte, and myeah i'm sure u an me freeeds will get along just fine. Who needs private posts anyway, my profound wisdom will be appreciated by all not just our dear friend freda, so HI all and yeah STAY CLASSY! ReplyQuoteDownload Message no. 5652 Author: Ronald Lau Date: Thursday, October 26, 2006 7:55pm well... what can i say... Freda, it seems u have a fan...who wants to, quote "take a long walk on a sunset beach" with you.. and also... he cannot seem to hold back his emotions and wants to display them to you publicly... wow... i mean.. so much for discretion... but.. on a more serious note... how bout i propose this... next monday, Andrew you can propose whateva you like during the lecture in front of everyone, and i'll make sure Freda is there to hear it. i'm sure pundarik is understanding enough... and will let a desperate man express his feelings to a um... "dear friend" ;) ....(heres my suggestive wink) ReplyQuoteDownload Message no. 5654 Author: Andrew Douglas 1 Date: Monday, October 30, 2006 11:40am desperate? ... I may be in touch with my emotions, i may be guilty of wishing to give women amazing experiences.. alas i may even be guilty of being able to see the romance in economics... but alas desperation is not a quality that can be attributed to me.... Alas if anything the classic economic problem of limited resources and unlimited demands placed on me by the opposite seems to be my problem. I like every other resource are subject to scarcity... Also i appreciate that you just want to free ride off the positive externality that would be created if i did propose my "undying love" towards our mutual friend freda, i'm sure our lecturer would probably enjoy the display as well... so that being said unless you subsidies me so that the social marginal benifit equates to the marginal cost, i shall have to conduct my dealings with our friend in a private environment :)
Xavier rudd "This sacred land it has seen many hands, it has wealth and gold, yet it is fragile and old and all the greedy souls just don't care to know of the changes it will confront"
